I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
