clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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