and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
