Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
