Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
