and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
3pm strippers are depressing
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
