you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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