yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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