I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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