you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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