MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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