I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
