you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
