I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
