their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize