just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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