I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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