i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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