Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
