question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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