He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
