Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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