Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
