Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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