I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
