Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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