Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
