I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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