can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
