Screwed.edu
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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