I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
