I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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