she was so not down for the gang bang
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Mom said you looked used
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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