Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
