I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
