I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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