Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize