Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
