non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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