Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
