How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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