Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
