Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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