She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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