remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize