Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize