trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
