you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am one with the molecules
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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