I like my sex mixed with concussions.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
someone owes me an orgasm
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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