I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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