i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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