Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just want nice things and good sex
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
