i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
