Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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