Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
