seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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