Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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