I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
