when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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