having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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